For ADHD Awareness Month, 3 Women Share How They’re Learning To Better Understand Their Symptoms

Maybe you’ve mastered the art of keeping everything together — until one tiny thing goes wrong. If you’ve ever found yourself piling way too much onto your plate, only to feel overwhelmed when something inevitably throws you off, you’re not alone.

Except, spoiler alert: those aren't just personality quirks if you have ADHD. They are often high-functioning coping mechanisms for ADHD, a neurodivergence that looks wildly different in women than it does in men.

While the stereotype still pictures a bouncing, hyperactive schoolboy, women and moms are usually dealing with a totally different beast. “[In women with ADHD], you see fewer outward behavioral symptoms like hyperactivity and fidgeting and more difficulties with executive function, emotion regulation, time management, distractibility, and starting and sustaining tasks,” explains Dr. Jessica McCarthy, a neuropsychologist and mom of two who also has ADHD.

Lesser-known struggles, or associated symptoms — like executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, and sleep troubles — fly under the radar because women are pros at masking their symptoms. Whether consciously or subconsciously, we spend decades camouflaging our symptoms to fit in with impossible societal expectations. That’s precisely why so many women don't get answers until adulthood — or worse, until motherhood pushes us past our absolute breaking point.

Getting that diagnosis and finally understanding your brain isn't just a relief — it’s survival! For ADHD Awareness Month, we talked to three moms who are peeling back the layers, and figuring out how to live in harmony with their diagnosis.

Drop All Expectations of ‘Perfect’ Parenting

Becoming a mom threw a massive wrench into Kim G.’s finely tuned cocktail of therapy, medication, coaching, and practical systems. Suddenly, executive dysfunction and decision fatigue were wreaking havoc on her home life and marriage. Fortunately, by becoming an ADHD coach herself, Kim learned to work with her brain rather than against it. Since her executive dysfunction makes advance planning and decisions tough, she and her wife found a workaround: her wife picks dinner and sets out the ingredients, and Kim handles the cooking.

“Parenting added a constant stream of decisions, planning, and mental load on top of a busy brain that already struggled with those things. What's helped most is dropping the idea that I should live or appear to live the way other moms do. When I build systems that fit my brain and ask for support where I need it, our home is calmer, and I get to be more present with my daughter.”

Learn Your Triggers, And Show Up Authentically

Before her diagnosis, Alexa P.’s rejection sensitivity — an ADHD-linked emotional rollercoaster that makes criticism or perceived rejection feel physically painful — would send her spiraling over a single internet troll comment or a vague text from a friend. Understanding her triggers completely changed the game.

“When I get triggered [by a mean comment on social media], I do a box breathing ritual to ground myself, and then I spend a few minutes focused on my larger ‘why’ and remind myself why I show up online the way that I do — which is to hopefully help others [living with ADHD] to truly enjoy the lives they have built.”

Build Systems For the Brain You Have

Amy H. — an author and mother of eight — was diagnosed with ADHD in her late thirties. By then, she had spent decades secretly white-knuckling her way through life: married, running a massive family, working, volunteering, and wondering why basic tasks felt like climbing Mount Everest while everyone else seemed to be managing just fine. Her diagnosis acted as a long-awaited user manual for her brain, swapping decades of self-blame for actual clarity.

“I think the biggest part of understanding my ADHD has been allowing myself to stop treating the way my brain works as a moral issue. I don’t need to become better at pretending I don’t have ADHD — I need to build systems that work for the brain I actually have.”

This ADHD Awareness Month, let’s retire the idea that the answer is simply to try harder, get more organized, or hold it all together. Understanding how your brain works can be the first step towards change — and finding systems, support, and expectations that actually work for you.

Presented by BDG Studios