what is normal?

A Mom Wants To Know How Couples With Kids Are Having Sex "4-5 Times A Week"

"How?! With what energy?!"

by Katie Garrity
A woman wants to hear from partnered couples with kids who have sex more than a few times a week.
Madison Barbosa / TikTok

When one TikTok mom heard that some couples were having sex with their partners 4-5 times a week, she was flabbergasted, and I have to say: same!

I beg your dearest pardon. That is so many times! With kids?! With work?! How do you not immediately go off to dreamland the minute you’re horizontal in bed? What is this witchcraft?

“Are you guys doing the hanky-panky like multiple times a week?” Madison Barbosa asked her followers on TikTok.

“I just saw a video on my For You page. It was a mom asking other moms how often are you guys doing the deed...and some of the comments said four times a week. How? With what energy?”

Barbosa goes on to say that as a parent of small children, she doesn’t have the time to have sex with her husband that often, despite feeling attraction for her husband and having the intention to be intimate. She’s just touched the f*ck out.

“When you're a parent to small children it's so fucking hard to find time for intimacy. It's so hard. It's not that I'm not attracted to my husband. It's not that I don't want to. It's just the fact that at the end of the day, I am so tired of being f*cking touched. I don't want to be touched anymore. I don't want to be touched.”

She goes on to say that, with that feeling of wanting to be left alone, there’s guilt attached.

“And the amount of wife guilt that comes with that because my husband's love language is physical touch. Just as 95% of the male population is. No, he wants me to touch him more. I know he wants me to touch him more. But like, you people that are doing it four times a week. Your coochie's okay? God bless,” she joked.

“Four or five times a week. It doesn't seem normal to me. It doesn't seem normal.”

Several moms weighed in with their own opinions on what is “normal” when it comes to sex frequency in a marriage.

“Sometimes is 3-4 times a week and then nothing for weeks😅,” one user wrote.

“Definitely 1-2x a week and often that’s just to check it off my list so I can stop feeling wife guilt. I feel like I have no libido anymore,” another admitted.

One user said, “Absolutely not😂 1-2 times if we’re lucky😅”

One other said, “Once a month lol”

One mom shared, “Having kids has k!lled my libido😭 I *needed* it every day before kids and now like maybe 2 times a month 🫣 i wanna fix that but idk how”

“lol since kids it's not as often. like once every couple weeks. we're tired,” another said.

One mom said, “I asked that in a mom group and this mom responded 2-3 times a DAY 4-5 days a WEEK!!! That’s 8-15 times a WEEK 🤯”

The OP replied, “Absolutely not 😅”

According to an Archives of Sexual Behavior study, the typical American couple engages in sex 56 times a year. If we all do the simple math, that’s about once a week! Seems doable. Though, to be clear, there is no “normal” amount of times. We all ebb and flow when it comes to sex with our partners!