103 Boo-rific Halloween Jokes & Riddles For The Whole Fam

As spooky and sugar-filled as Halloween is, it’s also a time when kids can look as silly on the outside as they feel on the inside. Has there ever been a better time to get your giddy ghouls giggling? We’re here to help you give your kids another treat in the form of laughter: Here’s a list of our favorite spooky, kid-friendly Halloween jokes full of ghosts and pumpkin puns. Rattle them off to those little candy-consuming monsters and watch them gleefully add these to their own list of jokes they tell their friends.

Mummy-approved, these clean puns and one-liners will have your little werewolves howling with laughter. Between creature jokes, vampire jokes, werewolf jokes, and Halloween knock-knock jokes, there’s plenty to keep the whole family entertained. Get cackling, witches!

Best Halloween Jokes

1. What animal dresses up and howls? A wear-wolf.
2. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field.
3. Why are cemeteries so popular? Everyone’s dying to get in.
4. Why was the witch’s broom late? It over-swept.
5. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
6. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
7. Why are spiders great web developers? They like finding bugs.
8. Why do vampires always seem sick? They’re always coffin.
9. How does a witch style her hair? With scare-spray.
10. What do you call two witches who live together? Broomates.
11. Why don’t vampires have a lot of friends? Because they are a pain in the neck.
12. What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet.
13. What happens to a vampire in the snow? Frostbite.
14. What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch.
15. How did the vampire marathon end? Neck and neck.
16. What kind of boat does a vampire travel in? A blood vessel.
17. Why don’t mummies have time for fun? They are too wrapped up in their work.
18. Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
19. Why can’t Dracula play baseball? He lost his bat.
20. What did the skeleton buy at the grocery store? Spare ribs.
21. Where does the zombie live? On a dead-end street.
22. What is a vampire’s favorite dog? A bloodhound.
23. What’s the first thing black cats do on Halloween morning? They wake up.
24. Why don’t skeletons watch horror movies? They don’t have the guts.
25. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.
26. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
27. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
28. How can you tell a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly donuts.
29. What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? “Let’s stop in for a cool one.”
30. What do you call a skeleton who won’t do chores? Lazy bones.
31. What’s a vampire’s least favorite food? Steak.
32. Why did the witch get kicked out of school? She couldn’t spell.
33. What do you call a ghost’s true love? Their ghoul-friend.

Halloween Riddles for Kids

1. What letter can you find in October but not in November or December? The letter T.
2. I’m orange and round, I grin without a sound. What am I? A jack-o’-lantern.
3. I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I? A candle.
4. What has a mouth and teeth but never eats? A carved pumpkin.
5. I come out at night and hang upside down. I’m not a vampire, but I’m often around. What am I? A bat.
6. I creak and I groan, yet I have no bones. People walk all over me in a haunted home. What am I? The stairs.
7. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? Footsteps.
8. I have no body, no bones, no nose... but I can still give you a fright. What am I? A ghost.
9. I wear a pointy hat and fly at night, but I’m not a bat. What am I? A witch.
10. I’m worn on your face but I’m not your skin, and one night a year I let you be someone else. What am I? A mask.
11. I have eight legs and I spin all day, catching my dinner in a silky way. What am I? A spider.
12. The more of me there is, the less you can see. What am I? Darkness.
13. I follow you everywhere when the sun is out, but when night falls, I vanish without a shout. What am I? Your shadow.
14. I have eyes but cannot see, a nose but cannot smell, and a mouth but cannot speak. What am I? A jack-o’-lantern.
15. I bubble up, green and thick, add a frog and a bat and I’ll do the trick. What am I? A potion.

Halloween-Themed Knock-Knock Jokes

1. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream, you scream, we all scream for Halloween!
2. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting to go out trick-or-treating all day!
3. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
4. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Bee. Bee who? Bee-ware, all the ghosts are out on Halloween!
5. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry! It’s only Halloween!
6. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a zombie!
7. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to suck your blood!
8. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Witches. Witches who? Witches the way to the haunted cemetery?
9. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Diane. Diane who? Diane to eat my Halloween candy!
10. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie body get dressed, it’s time to go trick-or-treating!
11. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein!
12. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are?
13. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ghost. Ghost who? Ghost stand over there and I’ll bring you some candy!
14. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go trick-or-treating with me?
15. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Fang. Fang who? Fang you very much for the candy!
16. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howl. Howl who? Howl you know it’s Halloween without a calendar?
17. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I wore a costume?
18. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ghouls. Ghouls who? Ghouls just wanna have fun!
19. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mummy. Mummy who? Mummy said I could have one more piece of candy!
20. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open the door; there’s a monster out there!
21. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you ate all my candy corn?
22. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna carry all this candy home?
23. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pumpkin. Pumpkin who? Pumpkin up the volume, it’s a Halloween party!

Jokes About Ghosts & Pumpkins & Monsters, Oh My!

1. What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o’ lantern.
2. Why do pumpkins do so badly in school? Because they had their brains scooped out.
3. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
4. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? “You look a little sick.”
5. What position does a ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
6. What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
7. Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
8. Why are some ghosts so happy? Every shroud has a silver lining.
9. Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
10. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight is blurry? Spooktacles.
11. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
12. Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
13. What do you call a chunky pumpkin? A plumpkin.
14. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
15. How do ghosts search the web? They use “Ghoul-gle.”
16. What goes “ha-ha-ha-ha-ha” right before a gigantic-sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing its head off!
17. Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!
18. What’s a ghost’s favorite place in the house? The scare-case.
19. Why did the jack-o’-lantern go to therapy? It had too much bottled up inside.
20. What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
21. What’s scarier than a monster? A momster.
22. Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them.
23. What kind of monster likes to dance? The boogeyman.
24. Where do werewolves store their junk? A were-house.
25. Where do ghosts like to go swimming? Lake Erie.
26. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice scream.
27. What was the ghost’s favorite band? The Grateful Dead.
28. What does a ghost keep in his stable? Nightmares.
29. What did the werewolf eat after his teeth cleaning? The dentist.
30. What room do ghosts avoid? The living room.
31. What is a ghost’s least favorite candy? Life Savers.
32. Why was the ghost crying? He wanted his mummy.