People Are Sharing Their “Magic Words” & You All Need To Be Taking Notes
A small change of phrasing could make a huge difference!
“What’s the magic word?” We’ve heard this phrase millions of times since we were kids, and now... we are the ones trying to get “please” and “thank you” out of our kids. But what if those “magic words” aren’t actually the most effective when it comes to everyday life?
A woman on TikTok asked for everyone’s “magic words” after learning that a simple change of phrase can lead to some amazing outcomes. She calls them “real-life cheat codes.”
Content creator and babysitter extraordinaire Chelsea Anderson first heard of the concept of “magic words” while listening to an episode of the popular NPR podcast This American Life.
In the episode, she says, a couple had their debt sold to a collection agency. They didn’t know what the debt was, so they asked in court for proof. The collector couldn’t provide it, so the debt just went away.
“Collection agencies don’t get proof of the actual debt, and they need proof. If you ask for it in order to make you pay, if they cannot provide that proof, the debt goes away. Magic words,” she says in her video.
Then, she gives an example of one of her favorite magic word phrases: “Would you mind if...”
“The reason this is magic is because it allows people to say ‘no’ in order to say yes to your request. Saying ‘no’ is a much easier thing to do than saying ‘yes,’ because saying ‘yes’ requires a lot of authority,” she explains.
“If I ask my boss, ‘Do you mind if I rearrange these slides in this deck?,’ it’s easy for that person to authoritatively say, ‘No, I don’t mind,’ because they know whether they mind or not.”
She adds, “If you just ask them, ‘Hey, could I do this?’ Well, now they have to think about a lot of things in order to say ‘yes.’ They might not know if they have the authority, so they might just say ‘no.’”
Arguing that “people’s mental default for requests is no,” she concludes, “you can use that fact and flip it on its head in order to get what you want by just asking people would they mind if blank in order to get what you want.”
Her comments section was filled with amazing “cheat code” phrases that we all should be using more!
“I’m a college prof. Changed from ‘Do you have any questions?’ to ‘What are your questions?’ Participation skyrocketed,” one user shared.
Another teacher said, “The magic response to ‘I dunno’ ⚡️… ‘well if you did know, what would it be?’😎 they always come up with something.”
A mom chimed in and wrote, “When my kids complain about something or talk back to me I respond with ‘thanks for sharing.’ It instantly takes things down a notch and it’s the opposite response they think they will get so it makes their brain stop and go ‘wait, what.’ If they were in full tantrum mode (my kids are older now but used to use this all the time when they were little) it de-escalates the tantrum quickly.”
“My nieces and nephew NEVER wanted to leave when visiting grandma’s house…. ‘You can’t come back if you don’t leave’ always did the trick,” another shared.
One user wrote, “‘I’m just visiting for the weekend.’ I travel a lot and frequently say this when people try to offer me things (gym memberships, movie passes, etc.) and I’ve accidentally gotten so many free things by telling them I’m only visiting for the weekend. I guess people love to share kindness with visitors! So far I’ve received free ice skating passes, free movie tickets, free entry to a gym, etc.”
See the full thread here.
