A New Mom Has Lost All Love For Her Pets Since Her Baby Was Born
“Now I have a chilling amount of hate for them,” she shares, very honestly.
![A dog and a cat sitting on a sofa with pillows, with a text overlay saying "I genuinely do not want ...](https://imgix.bustle.com/uploads/image/2024/7/10/1c724b02/screenshot-2024-07-10.jpg?w=320&h=213&fit=crop&crop=focalpoint&q=50&dpr=2&fp-x=0.427&fp-y=0.3635)
We love our fur babies. Many of us are devoted ‘fur parents’ before we venture into the world of human offspring. Then suddenly, you have a baby to take care of and can’t imagine who TF thought it was cool to bring wild animals indoors. How can you love a thing that sets its bare butt on the same surface where your precious angel has tummy time?
One new mom was so shocked by the abrupt and intense change of heart she had toward her pets that she headed to Reddit’s Mommit forum to vent. She did not hold back, and readers had strong feelings to share.
She introduces her gripes with some background. “I used to hear families rehoming pets when they have children, and I wouldn't have room to even hear them out.”
Recently, her feelings have changed. “Now I envy them.”
Aware of biology’s role, she explains, “I understand my hormones. I understand that I feel different about my dog and my cat then how I did before I got pregnant, because I got pregnant and gave birth.”
“I understand that eventually, I'll level back out hormonally and that I'll probably go back to feeling how I did about domesticated animals.”
“However, I do not care.” And there it is. Now sh*t gets real.
Her and her boyfriend have a cat. “My cat has become a monster since we've brought our son home. I want him gone.”
And a dog. “The dog was my boyfriend’s dog, and he wasn't responsible when he first got him. No discipline, no indoor training.”
Revealing a deeper animosity for the dog, she adds, “Nothing but blind stupid loyalty, that is subject to reconsideration at any given point.”
“That dog became the bane of my existence during my pregnancy, and no matter the amount of patience I have with him, I still hate this dog now and I want him gone.”
At this point she’s likely run off some animal lovers, but she isn’t done.
“I lost my love for animals honestly; now I have a chilling amount of hate for them.”
“I will never bring another animal into this home again. I can't take it. I think about their respective death days a lot, with longing.”
She realizes this level of hostility is extreme. “No other mother I talk to seems to be on the same level of over it as me. Nobody wants to throw their pets away but me.”
Anticipating some concerns, she clarifies she’s, “never abusing them,” but wants the cat and dog to “gtf away from me at all times.”
Her boyfriend still loves the animals unconditionally. She says, “They’re staying because of him.”
She sums her feelings and post up, saying, “I no longer see the kitten I adopted or the dog I met for the first time. I just see nasty, dirty, monsters who destroy my home and my son's things.”
While the severity of her disdain is alarming, in the comments mothers could relate, and admitted to hating their pets when they first brought home a new baby. For many, their fur-frustrations lessened over time, but some never regained their pre-baby bond.
One Redditor had an interesting theory.
“There are two types of people who have pets.
#1 is people who genuinely love having pets, you know because they still love their pets post kids.
#2 people who have pets as fake babies.
If you have a fake baby pet, you probably don’t know that this is your situation until you have a real baby.”
In response, people identified themselves or someone they know as fitting into that binary.
One reader suggested a third category, “#3: you genuinely love animals but struggle once kids are born because you’re touched-out, exhausted, and your hormones are all over the place.”
Another comment gave her permission to take care of herself.
“People swear that you are the most terrible person on the planet if you find a new home for your pets, but the amount of stress was not something I could handle on top of everything else. Rehoming was the very best decision at that moment of my life. I do not regret it. I always tell people to do what’s best for them.”
Among personal accounts of postpartum pet hate were women sharing their experience with postpartum rage and the ways PPD presented in their lives. Tactful readers urged her to explore her symptoms with a professional.
“Gently, I would suggest that this level of hatred is… extreme and may be worth discussing with your doctor and/or therapist.”
Even the fiercest animal lovers can admit that pets are a responsibility that is tough to juggle during the transition to motherhood. It’s alarming to go from an animal-loving, 8-hour-sleeping person who’s never worn a postpartum diaper to a resentful, exhausted milk factory who doesn’t know when their hair was washed last.
Thank goodness for the Mommit mods and members for creating a space where our most difficult feelings are met with compassion. Whether you’re a #1, #2, or #3 kind of pet mom, we can all use the reminder that we aren’t alone, and this too shall pass.