Parents On Reddit Are Sharing The Small Daily Rituals That Mean The Most To Their Kids

Family life is busy. Parents work, kids have school, and even in the summertime it can feel like you’re constantly shuttling everyone between camps, sports, and family get-togethers. Though you do so much together, often it feels like you haven’t really connected with your kids at the end of those hectic days. On r/Mommit, one parent asked a meaningful question about how to connect amid the chaos: What small daily ritual has made the biggest difference in your relationship with your kids?

The answers are so sweet, and the perfect reminder that it really is the little things that matter most to our kids.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the big grand gestures, the trips, the expensive gifts, the perfectly planned birthday parties, are rarely what my kids bring up when they talk about feeling close to me,” said the original poster (OP). “It’s usually the small stuff. My oldest still talks about how we used to sit on the porch together after school and just decompress without me asking a million questions. My youngest lights up whenever I let her pick the music during our drive to daycare. I started wondering if other moms have noticed the same thing. Like, is there one tiny routine or habit that you kind of stumbled into that ended up meaning way more than you expected? Something so simple you almost feel silly mentioning it?”

So many parents responded that having a sit-down dinner as a family, as many nights as possible, is the ritual that helps them connect with their kids the most. Many of them make a point to ask about highs and lows of the day, in their own ways: Everyone around the table shares the rose and thorn of their day. Other commenters call them roasts and toasts, happies and crappies, or “good, good, buffalo” — two good things that happened and one that surprised you.

Other families do a recap of their day at bedtime. “We do what made us feel happy, mad, sad, scared, surprised, proud, and loved. It’s given us a great opportunity to surface feelings we pushed down during the day, especially when it comes to interpersonal kid interactions. My kid is still in pre-K, so it helps us also get a good read on how her day went and learn about how days can have a multitude of feelings in them.”

It seems like many families also use audiobooks as a way to wind down and enjoy stories together: “We listen to an audiobook before bed every night. She is 12 and isn’t tired of it. 30-45 minutes where we can just hang and listen together,” one commenter replied.

Here are some sweet daily rituals other parents use to foster closeness with their kids:

• “We have a handshake… kiss, hug, high five, fist bump, thumb press, and sign language ‘I love you.’ She made it up at 3!”
• “My 11-year-old and I do a few of the games on the New York Times app together every day. He’s actually gotten better than me at Wordle! It’s often my favorite part of the day, where we’re just quietly working together and cuddled up close.”
• “My husband is reading Magic Tree House to my toddler. 1-2 chapters a night and she loves it.”
• “Nighttime walk before bed. This was particularly special when my son was under 2 and had a late bedtime from still being on a multi-nap schedule, and he often went to bed after the sun was down. We’d walk around the neighborhood because there’s so much to see that you don’t in the day. Now he goes to bed around 7 or 8 so it’s still light outside, but it wears him out and we get quality time as a family.”
• “I started watching thunderstorms with my kids. We live in the Midwest, where we get a lot of summer storms with lightning. The kids will come down even after they’re in bed and know I’ll let them sit at the big bay window with me to watch the storm come through. We have a lot of big old trees that will sweep back and forth in the winds, and I’ll crack the window so we can hear all the effects. It’s a good time!”
• “Weekend movie nights. I set up pillows and blankets and stuffies on the floor and pop popcorn. They each get their own popcorn bowl and little ramekin of mixed-up candy (mixture from whatever is leftover from a recent holiday). We pick a movie to watch together, and we let them stay up later than usual. I love the snuggle time and it’s so sweet when the whole fam is laughing together.”

In a social media world where it feels like all you see are the big Disney trips and spendy surprises, this thread is a great reminder that some of the best things in life really are free (or at least fairly low cost). An appreciation for the sound of the rain, and having it be a warm reminder of home, is a gift that will truly last a lifetime.