This Grandma Shares 3 Rules She Thinks All Grandparents Should Follow
Rule #1: You are not the parent.
Grandparents, gather round! Welcoming a new grandbaby into the world is a feeling second to none, but there’s a few things we should go over first. Yup, before you get to fully declare yourself a Meemaw or Papa, there are a couple rules you should be ready to abide by.
Rules? No fun! I knowww, but while becoming a grandparent is exciting, it’s far more about the new mom and dad than it is about you. So, following these rules is a necessary step to ensure you’re making their parenting journey as easy as possible.
Don’t just take it from me, take it from a real Grandma — or a MomMom. Maria, who goes by @mommom.maria on Instagram, posted a Reel sharing her rules for fellow grandparents.
Rule #1? You are not the parent.
“You're privileged to be a grandmother. You're not the mother,” Maria reminded fellow grandparents.
The role of a grandparent is indeed a special one, but it’s entirely different than the role of a parent. It might be difficult (after all, it’s hard to shake years of being a parent), but try your best to stay in grandparent mode, and leave the actual parenting decisions to mom and dad.
That leads us into rule #2: respecting the parents’ boundaries — whether or not you understand or agree with them.
“‘I don't understand why she doesn't want us to kiss the baby.’ You don't have to understand, respect their boundaries,” Maria said.
This brings us to our final rule: It’s not about you! And if you feel hurt by a boundary a parent sets, it’s important to remember that you’re not a victim.
“You're not a victim, you're not a pushover,” Maria said. “You're just being respectful of their role as parents and realizing that your role is a grandmother.”
Lots of grandparents themselves approved of Maria’s rules, sharing their support in the comments.
“This is great advice. I have 3 DILs and I respect all of their rules. I get along wonderfully with them. Sometimes I do not agree but you are right, they are the mommies!” one grandmother commented.
“Grandmother to a 7-month-old and two-week-old. Absolutely agree. And I remember how it was when I was a young mother and my MIL made unsolicited comments,” added another.
Plenty of users also shared how much they wished the grandparents in their lives followed these rules.
“This is the best advice I’ve ever read in my life!!! It’s so overwhelming as a new mom to hear my child’s grandparents things they’re owed access to my child! When they didn’t even check in on ME when I was pregnant,” one mom commented.
“My MIL went nuclear when boundaries were set and for the safety of our child we no longer have a relationship with her,” another said. “I hope she can learn when it comes to future grandchildren.”
Another simply wrote, “Someone send this to my MIL for me please….”
Don’t be that in-law. Follow Maria’s rules, and you’ll be in the clear.
