11 Books We Had No Business Reading As Kids
But our parents didn’t care because, hey! We were reading.
The focus on reading in the ‘90s was huge for our generation. From Accelerated Reader programs to personal pan pizzas from the Book It! Pizza Hut club, any kid with a book in their hand was basically the best kid ever. Which means we got away with reading a lot of nonsense. I wasn’t allowed to watch Scream when I was 10, but I was already reading books titled The Dollhouse Murders, you know? There are so many books we had no business reading as kids, but we just kept flipping the pages — so we made a list of a few of them.
From Stephen King to Anne Rice and Sidney Sheldon, there’s a lot to unpack here. And some of these books were actually written for kids — but we still weren’t ready. A lot of these books were just in the home because our parents read them, and what kind of parent is going to stop a kid from grabbing a 300-page novel on their way to bed? I’ve heard from adults who were reading Flowers in the Attic or The Shining as little kids, but it doesn’t seem to have affected them now. Instead, we all sort of feel like we got away with something when we were little — and we all got new vocabulary words to consider, especially when it came to sex and murder. Literally, one of the books on this list is how I learned what the word “castration” meant (in graphic detail).
So read on through memory lane to get a hefty dose of nostalgia and some BDG and Scary Mommy editors’ reminiscing of the books we had no business reading as kids.
The Dollhouse Murders by Betty Ren Wright
Age: 8
This book was in my elementary school library, which blows my mind to think about. It was written for kids — the main character is a teenager — but the storyline of a nasty murder happening to this girl's great-grandparents and her being able to solve it as they HAUNT A DOLLHOUSE and move their bodies around like in the scene of the crime is an absolutely chaotic choice for little kids. Did I love every page? Yes. Have I bought a copy again as an adult to give to my 10-year-old so she can also be creeped out by her own dollhouse? Obviously. — Samantha Darby, Senior Lifestyle & Entertainment Editor
The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
Age: 12
Everything I know about sex I learned from cavemen and cavewomen thanks to this series of books that I just found on my parents' bookshelves. These books are actually really, truly great, if I remember correctly, but there is a lot of violence and graphic sex — with many scenes burned into my memory. And no, this is not a great book to learn about consent from, as I don't think it was even invented until after the wheel. I was really lucky to escape this without a fetish for hairy men. — Sarah Aswell, Deputy News & Social Editor
The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice
Age: 12
Anne Rice's vampire novels — Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, The Queen of the Damned, etc. — were incredibly formative to a middle school me... and also pretty inappropriate considering the violence and sex pervasive throughout. Nevertheless, I turned out fine, if a little melodramatic and goth, so I regret nothing. — Jamie Kenney, Senior Staff Writer
Tell Me Your Dreams by Sidney Sheldon
Age: 13
This book was given to me by my best friend in the 8th grade, and when I tell you I could not sleep! I used to read this book at night with just my bedside lamp on and freak myself out. Not only is the book full of murder and women being terrified, but also the men being murderedare killed and castrated while having sex, and later a split personality disorder is revealed. This book is currently on my shelf in my family room (I guess I never returned it to my friend), and I'm still kind of freaked out to read it again. — Samantha Darby
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline B. Cooney
Age: 11
I read this book after seeing its made-for-TV movie adaptation on Lifetime and becoming obsessed with the story. (I was watching Lifetime often at this point in my childhood, mostly Laci Peterson and other true crime docs, but that's for another conversation.) It's the kind of soapy story that's just realistic enough to have any kid questioning their true parentage — it certainly made me scour my own baby photos for clues of a secret kidnapping. — BDG Editor
Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
Age: 10
This was assigned reading in my 5th-grade class, the kind where you'd read a chapter at home each night and then read some aloud in class, too. It was in a room of 25 other 5th graders that we read about a guy falling on his own axe and dying mid-dog attack, and then two faithful pups also getting killed protecting their child owner from a mountain lion. Deeply unchill. I'm sure we could have read anything else to practice those literacy skills. This book was written for old men. — Katie McPherson, Associate Lifestyle & Entertainment Editor
Babysitter’s Nightmare by Kate Daniel
Age: 11
Another book meant for teens, but I clearly did not need to be reading. I was super into babies and babysitting and wanted my own babysitting club SO BAD. I gobbled up any story related to babysitting — even terrifying ones. This one was especially terrible, filled with a girl who is basically being terrorized as she babysits, but everyone thinks it’s her doing all the scary stuff. I remember reading this paperback in the backseat on the way to one of my mom's friends' house and when my mom's friend saw it, she said, "I don't think she needs to be reading that..." I think my mom just ignored her? Because I definitely kept reading it and scaring the hell out of myself. — Samantha Darby
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz & illustrated by Stephen Gammell
Age: 8
To this day, I'm the type to read the plots of scary movies on Wikipedia. I like the concepts, but watching horror stuff play out is usually too anxiety-inducing for me. I read this excitedly at a friend's house during the day, and we were on the edges of our seats — but the illustrations and the scary tension in all the stories made it hard for me to sleep for nights on end. The story about the kid who finds a big toe in his garden and "The Hook" stayed with me for weeks, I swear. At least "The Viper" ended on a funny note. — Katie McPherson
Thirst Series by Christopher Pike
Age: 12
Is there a vampire pattern with me? Yes, there is. This series follows Sita, a 5,000-year-old vampire from India... who is inexplicably white and blonde. It's another vampire series, so there's plenty of blood and seduction, obviously. To be honest, I don't remember too much about these books, but I remember feeling like I was getting away with something while I devoured the series. — Jamie Kenney
It by Stephen King
Age: 11
I read so much Stephen King as a young kid, again likely just because it was at my house and available. This one was absolutely terrifying as it includes a ton of children getting murdered, a scary clown, a giant spider, and the weirdest sex scene in perhaps all of history (I would tell you more, but it's a spoiler). I'm not sure my parents ever even noticed that I was reading piles of horror books right before their eyes. — Sarah Aswell
The Once and Future King by T.H. White
Age: 10
I can't recall there being anything inappropriate about this book per se, which tells the rise and fall of King Arthur, but it's definitely not a kids' book. I was determined to read it because it was my mom's favorite and she had this really beautiful copy, so despite not getting much out of it, I read the whole thing for the vibes. — Jamie Kenney
Did any of your secret readings make the list? Or maybe it’s time to revisit an inappropriate classic now that you’re old enough to understand the plot.
