Danielle Fishel Opens Up About Talking To Her Kids About Cancer

As a millennial, I grew up watching Danielle Fishel star as everyone’s favorite girl next door in ABC’s Boy Meets World. My friends and I all felt like Topanga was one of us — that she was someone who you could actually sit in your room and flip through Delia’s catalogs with or talk to about your latest crush. And honestly, I think it’s that same reliability we all still love so much about Fishel. So, after she shared that she was diagnosed with breast cancer at a routine mammogram, it felt like I was hearing the news from a friend... and I thought, Oh, I need to call and schedule mine.

When I get the chance to chat with Fishel a few months after her diagnosis, she tells me that’s exactly why she shared it — she knows that sometimes people just need a gentle push in the right direction, and she’s happy to be that nudge. Especially since Fishel knows that so many people (particularly moms) procrastinate when it comes to preventative care. In fact, according to Aflac’s 2024 Wellness Matters Survey, over 70% of millennials admit they sometimes or always put off getting a health checkup or screening beyond the recommended timeframe.

Fishel understands this acutely because she, too, has been guilty of putting off her annual appointments. And after a normal mammogram last year, she was tempted to do so again when she got a text reminding her it was time to make this year’s. “I was swamped with work. I have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old, I have a husband, I have multiple jobs, and it just would’ve been so easy for me to say, ‘Well, last year was fine; I’ll just put it off.’ But I’m so glad I didn’t because with the aggressive type of breast cancer that I had, who knows what could have been.”

So, Fishel’s now on a mission to encourage as many people as possible to be proactive. Here’s what she told me about the importance of scheduling those screenings, how she’s teaching sons Adler and Keaton to prioritize their health, and (bonus!) which nostalgic roles are currently on her mind.

Scary Mommy: You recently found out you had “stage-zero” breast cancer. What was your initial reaction?

Danielle Fishel: Definitely shock. I was looking healthy; I was feeling healthy; I had absolutely no symptoms or reasons to suspect that I even had a cold, much less cancer. So, getting that news was definitely shocking and really, one of the first things I thought about was how I was going to break the news to my husband and to my parents.

My children would've been a consideration, of course, except for the fact that they are 3 and 5, and I wasn't really ever planning on sitting them down and saying like, ‘Mommy has cancer.’ So I didn't worry too much about telling them, but I did worry about telling my husband and my parents because it was just not on any of our radar.

SM: You were diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ, or DCIS. What else did you learn?

DF: As we often do, you do the Google search, and while I found some very hopeful and wonderful optimistic things about my type of cancer — which was Stage 0 DCIS with microinvasion — I also had high-grade, [meaning] my specific type was very aggressive, even though it was in its very early stages. So, I also read things that were very scary … but I immediately joined a breast cancer Reddit. I was like, I want to hear from other people who have been through something similar.

In the course of researching the breast cancer Reddit, I came across an Aflac Health survey that talked about the fact that 70% of Americans put off their regular health screenings. Had I not gone in for my yearly mammogram this year, I wouldn't have found it when it was Stage 0, and because it was an aggressive type of cancer, who knows how quickly it would've spread into something else. So, I was just so grateful that I treated my health and my annual screenings like a family value. Making that a priority is important for me and is important for my family.

SM: When you hear stories like yours or Olivia Munn’s, it really does light a fire under millennial moms like myself who put health screenings off. But moms are stubborn and, as you know, tend to put themselves last. What are you saying to loved ones to really get them to pay attention?

DF: I have a very close friend who is a little bit older than me, and she confided in me that she's never had a mammogram and doesn't want to get one because she's afraid of the results. That’s one of the reasons millennials put things off — we're afraid to know. Being incredibly busy is another reason.

The conversation I had with her was, ‘Listen, I don't like asking people for things — it goes against every bone in my body — but I don't mind asking you for this. If you are not willing to do it for you, could you do it for me? I love you. You are one of my best friends. I can't imagine having to see you find out you have cancer and then walk through that path, that journey of all the different possibilities you have for treatment, knowing if you had found out earlier, it may have been easier.’ I’m not sure if she ever ended up making the appointment, but I do know that three in four people actually say they like it when a friend or a family member encourages them to get a test.

So, what I'm telling everybody is that your best chance of staying on top of something is by getting yearly checkups. I'm encouraging people to encourage their friends and family. But even if your friends and family aren't encouraging you, I'd like to be considered as one of your friends and family. If you can, think that I am encouraging you to stay on top of your annual exams 'cause it really can be the difference between life and death.

SM: I'm telling everyone to do it for Topanga.

DF: Would you do it for me? Could you do it for me?

SM: You mentioned your sons are really too young to understand what’s going on, but since you are a boy mom, how do you envision tackling women’s health topics with them as they get older?

DF: We have a very open and honest communication style with our children. It's actually one of the reasons why I was afraid to let them know the truth about what I had, because they are fully aware. My mother-in-law passed from lung cancer in 2022, right before my oldest turned 3, and he knows that she died of cancer.

SM: What does that sort of transparency look like at their ages?

DF: She lived with us during her cancer treatment, so it was very hard for her and then she was gone. I didn't want him to worry that the next time he got sick, it was going to be something that could kill him. So, I made a very big deal about it, like, ‘Grana had cancer, which is a different type of sickness; it's not like a cold … Sometimes when you have cancer, you end up being OK and you come out and you're fine and can still live a long life. Other times, cancer makes you so, so sick your body can't go on.’

I was so worried that I was going to tell him that I had cancer, and he was going to be worried about me dying. So, I just told him that I was sick and I needed to have surgery for it ... I was going to have a boo-boo, and he was going to have to be a little more gentle with Mommy. Both my boys, now 5 and 3, are very rambunctious — big wrestlers, love to give tackle hugs. I just said, ‘My boo-boo is right here.’

After my surgery, I showed him where my incisions were and said, ‘It just means that I'm not going to be able to swing you around as much, and when you run and give me a hug, I'm going to maybe ask you and remind you to be a little more gentle with me. But I will eventually get back to normal, and we can go back to doing all those things.’ … Once I did get back into being able to pick them up and swing them around, very sweetly, they would say, ‘Is your boo-boo OK? Is your boo-boo better now?’ And I said, ‘Yes, my boo-boo is better, which is why I was able to pick you up.’

So, I plan on always being honest with them and expressing to them that taking care of your health is one of our family values. I hope to instill in them the desire to regularly check in on themselves and to prioritize their health.

SM: Well, we’re all so glad you’re OK and caught this early! And you have some big, fun stuff coming up, too — you’re directing some Wizards Beyond Waverly Place. What has that experience been like for you, and is there any other nostalgic movie or show from your childhood you’d love to have a hand in if they reboot?

DF: Oh my gosh, such a good question. Directing Wizards Beyond Waverly Place has been amazing; I got to do two episodes in their first season. It's such a remarkable cast and such fun writing. They take big swings, fun special effects, really great acting — a really overall wonderful experience being on that set.

As far as visiting another nostalgic set, if I were able to do that, I was a big X-Files fan. I would love nothing more than to be a fly on the wall of an X-Files reboot or something like that. I just couldn't have loved it more in the ‘90s.