This Dad Says Nothing “Builds You As A Father” Like Parenting Solo

There’s a common theme I’ve seen among male/female parents in my years of parenting. A baby is born to an excited mom and an excited dad. Mom gets eight weeks of maternity leave (if she’s lucky) while dad gets two (if he’s lucky). Over the first few weeks of the little one’s life, mom is learning how to do everything because she’s the only person on hand to do anything. When dad gets home from work he’s there to help... but because he hasn’t had as much time to learn, mom is still taking over when things get tough because she’s spent hours learning how best to get the baby to stop crying (and OMG please just stop crying). As a short-term strategy it’s useful. In the long-term, however, most men are not set up to take the lead on childcare, which can lead to less fulfilling fatherhood and a strained relationship with an overworked partner.

So how are men supposed to up their dad game? TikTok creator and dadfluencer Ricky Bee (@rickyxbee) posted a quick tip and it is very, very simple:

“Absolutely nothing will build you more as a father ... than just being solo,” he says. “Grocery store, one in the carrier, one in the cart, toddler, baby. Even when I only had one baby! Just being alone. Rachel is not here to help me. ... Yes this takes longer, yes it’s harder ... but nothing makes me a better dad. Nothing builds more character. Nothing gives me more of the secret sauce than getting out and just doing this myself, bro.”

On top of solo situations forcing you to grow as a parent, there’s another benefit for the men out there: “Nothing will make you respect your girl more than getting out and doing what is done by the women in our lives that are doing it.”

Ricky (rightly!) highlights the fact that what he’s doing isn’t unique or special. “All glory to my girl: she’s doing this all the time,” he says. But the point remains nonetheless: if you’re not used to parenting solo, doing so is a great way to up your game.

In the comments, folks were quick to point out the benefits of dads taking the time to learn how to parent without the training wheels of a female partner.

“Women aren't inherently better parents,” wrote one. “It's that we're left to figure it out from the beginning and a lot of men never take the chance to figure it out at all. You have to actively parent in order to learn how to do it better.”

Amen.

“100%,” agreed another. “So many Dads are too afraid/coddled to spend time with their kids alone. Not easy but it def does build you up as a Dad.”

“The best thing that ever happened was my husband taking parental leave and staying home with the 2 month old 2 days a week by himself!” a third shared. “Best thing for both of us.”

Others hadn’t experienced this on their own, but were varying degrees of wistful or encouraged.

“My partner would never do this,” read one reply. “What a blessing to have a dad that takes his kids. My man can’t even put her down for a nap. I am what the young people [call] COOKED.”

“As a SAHM, I needed to hear this. I get major anxiety when dad takes him out by himself but I need to let it happen so he can experience it,” admits another.

Look, this strategy might be an adjustment for literally everyone involved. But, as with everything, the best way to improve and learn is by just getting out there and doing the thing.