How To Explain It’s A Drop-Off Birthday Party Without Being Rude
We have 3 or 4 very solid approaches for you.
Every year for years it rained on the day of my kid’s birthday party. They’re born in late May, so we were put in the awkward position of turning an outdoor party into an indoor one. Our house is a decent size: we could always accommodate the number of guests invited... but what got tricky was when each (child) guest rolled up with one to two parents and even multiple siblings.
Of course, rain or shine, managing the guest list can be a challenge for kids’ parties. One Reddit user recently asked for advice on the popular Parenting forum about the best way to let parents know that their kid was invited... but they weren’t.
“My son is turning 9 and I am throwing him a birthday party at my house,” says u/HearingLeather (we’ll call her Leather). “The weather is temperamental in March, so I do not feel comfortable planning a park party. I live in a two bedroom condo that’s around 1100 square feet. I told my son he can only have 5 kids at the party as we do not have a ton of space, nor a yard. How should I tactfully explain that it’s a drop off only party?”
Leather notes that two of the five guests have been to her house and she knows their parents well. The same cannot be said of the other three.
“I’m okay with the parents staying for 10-ish minutes to make sure their kids feel comfortable, but I would like them to leave afterwards. I would like to write something on the invites. That way the parents do not RSVP yes and then feel blindsided when I tell them it’s drop off only.”
Fellow Redditors had some good advice to offer, with most saying that just writing “drop-off only” might feel a little too blunt for an invite, but there were some good alternatives to that wording.
“As space is limited,” one suggested, “please plan to drop off and enjoy your morning/afternoon!”
“On the invite instead of 2:00 to 4:00, write ‘Drop Off 2:00 and Pick Up 4:00,” offered another.”
“There's no need to over-explain anything!” said a third. “If a family is not comfortable, they can simply decline, creating more space for the guests that attend. Frankly, less people, less opinions, and less of a body for you to stress about.”
Another felt a little context could be helpful.
“Just be honest,” they said. “‘We wish we could accommodate parents and siblings but due to limited space in our condo, please plan to drop off your children for the party.’”
All solid options, I think! And while some expressed reluctance to drop off a child, others were baffled one wouldn’t leap at the opportunity to have a few hours of quiet.
“I love it when I can just drop my kids off at a party,” said one Redditor. “Other parents that I know will be just as relieved to hear this as well.”
“I’m curious: for the people saying you wouldn’t drop off a nine-year-old, what age would you be comfortable for a drop-off party?” asked another to which a third cheekily replied, “Some of these kids will be forbidden from going to their co-worker's baby-showers unless mommy is there.”
Not strictly speaking polite but I chuckled...
From experience, letting someone know they’re not invited is always an awkward situation. On the one hand, you want to be hospitable and you want parents to feel comfortable with their kid being out of their sight with an adult they don’t know. On the other hand, people, my couch only holds so many butts. Though based on the great advice in the comments, it seems it may not be as awkward as we might fear it is.
