I Asked 50 Mom Friends What Clinched Their Friendship. Here Are 5 Big Takeaways.

If you thought finding a best friend was hard in middle school, try doing it as a mom. When you become a parent, your social life changes, and it's suddenly 10 times harder to maintain friendships.

Consider the newborn stage. When my first kid was born, the hospital staff recommended avoiding public spaces, limiting visitors, and asking everyone who walked into my house to wash their hands. I learned quickly that this was not exactly good advice for keeping friends.

This also taught me that motherhood can be isolating, but the best way to beat that feeling is to venture out with your children and build your circle of mom friends. Mom friends are a special breed. These women won't judge your spit-up-stained shirt or your crumb-covered car because they also deal with spit-up and crumbs each day.

We all deserve mom BFFs, but finding them is not an easy process. To figure it out, I asked 50 moms how they locked in their best friend. Here's what I learned.

Go outside.

OK, this may seem obvious, but you can't make friends while sitting on your couch binge-watching Hallmark movies (there's plenty of time for that with your friends when you make them).

Many of the 50 moms I spoke with had formed close friendships with neighbors. To make the connection, spend more time going for walks or sitting in your front yard. That's how Kristen Byrnes, mom of two, met her bestie.

"My parents were visiting and spending a lot of time outside with my 2-year-old raking leaves," Byrnes explains. "Turns out, my dad kept seeing a family walking around our block that he thought I should meet. I invited [the mom] over for a play date the next week, and it was the start of a beautiful friendship."

If you don't have young families living near your house, try visiting the park or signing up for an activity like mommy-and-me yoga. The key is getting out, finding people, and putting effort into hanging out regularly.

Yes, effort is required.

So, you've found potential mom buddies. Will you be instant BFFs? Probably not. You might need to plan several play dates or other social activities.

Luckily, there's an app for that! In fact, there are tons of apps for that. Facebook is packed with hyper-local mom groups. Bumble for Friends helps people get connected, or if you're not super techy, a basic text group works, too.

Facebook groups helped Tiffini Sharp find her mom friends, and she put in extra effort to really build her village.

"I had attended a few play dates and met a couple of cool moms with kids close in age to mine through Facebook and other groups. One day, I just threw them all in a group chat and said, 'Hiiiii, everyone who wants to do a giant 2-year-old play date?'"

Eventually, more than 40 people were on Sharp's group text. While some have drifted and others have branched off into their own friendships, Sharp feels that everyone found what they needed: support and community.

Create "friendship rituals."

Constantly organizing playdates or hosting families at your home can get exhausting, so friendship expert Danielle Baynard Jackson recommends starting traditions or rituals.

"Friendship rituals help remove the constant mental labor of coordinating schedules and planning outings," Jackson says. "I know of one particular friend group that committed to dropping one picture a day in the group chat — captions not required! These are simple ways to stay connected to one another."

Of the 50 moms I spoke with, several had routines like Jackson describes. One woman told me she formed her tribe through a monthly book club (aka wine club), and another arranged a weekly outdoor jog with her neighbors. This makes scheduling effortless, plus it's more fun than a standard trip to the playground or coffee shop.

Look for shared interests.

Forming friendships based on hobbies is a total win-win. You get to spend time with your friends while enjoying your fave activities. Find ways to share your interests with other moms, and you might find someone with the same level of passion.

As a mom of one boy and lover of holidays, LeAnne Shaler found her best friend at a daycare Halloween party. Shaler was dressed in a full costume, complete with a wig and purple makeup.

"I got there first, and parents started arriving — and none of them were dressed up! I was starting to feel mortified when another mom walked in costume and came right over to me like, 'Thank goodness someone else dressed up.' Instant friendship," Shaler says.

Just go for it!

If your goal is to make new friends, ditch your inhibitions and get ready to open up to new people. I received that advice from Jess Gleason, a mom and military spouse.

Military wives are usually experienced in making new friends since they tend to relocate frequently. Gleason discovered that many moms are super eager to talk — someone just needs to break the ice.

"I think my best approach is to put yourself out there," says Gleason. "Realize that most moms you see at the playground or other 'play date places' are looking and hoping for connection. It's rare that I don't meet a friendly face when I open up the lines of communication."

In other words, get out there and get those mom friends!