An Important PSA For SAHMs Is Just What We Needed Today
“You are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you.”
When I see a TikTok of some dude with the caption “SAHMs Listen up!!” I am already instantly in a bad mood. Because, Dear Men: don’t tell me what to do. Second, I know this kind of TikTok video. It’s never good. Half my parenting energy is spent ensuring my 13 year old doesn’t get sucked into the whirlpool of the Manosphere and this sort of thing looks fresh out of that particular corner of Hell. But despite that, I’m actually really glad I watched this video from TikTok user J.R. Minton.
“How entitled could you be?” he begins angrily and, for real for real, we’re off to an unsettling start. “I truly cannot imagine the amount of arrogance you must have to sit there and complain when you are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you. Let’s get real! What do you do all day? Your spouse is taking care of everything so you can take care of one thing. How complicated could it be: all you do is go to work.”
Ooooooh! OK, I see what you’re doing there, Minton my good dude. Excuse me while I put my pitchfork back in the shed and call off the angry mob I was in the midst of assembling.
Please, continue...
“For 10 hours a day, you get to live the life of a single, childless, carefree man because your wife was willing to take the financial risk of allowing you to be successful in your career while she takes care of everything else,” he continues. “She provides childcare services, home cleaning services, medical services, food services, scheduling services, and a list that goes on and on. And you provide... a paycheck? And you have the nerve to call yourself the provider! What is it going to take for you to realize that, bro, everything you have in your life is because of a stay-at-home mom.”
Needless to say, I am not the only one who did a 180 on Minton.
“Sir, I thought my [For You Page] had betrayed me for a moment,” the top comment reads.
“As a SAHM I just deleted a whole paragraph,” says another.
“You have just made me realize after all these years that I am the freaking provider,” wrote one commenter, “and that feels amazing.”
Look if you’re doing it right, there’s no easy way to be a parent. Stay-at-home parent, working parent, one of two working parents, it’s just hard. But if those of us parenting with partners realize that we each bring something to the table, it can be just a little less so.
