People Are Sharing What Their Parents Did To Strengthen The Relationships With Their Kids

Every now and then, the Internet offers up something truly wholesome. A video of an immigrant dad gushing over the fun of pajama day. Or the story of a cat who became friends with a goose.

Recently, on Reddit’s Parenting subreddit, someone posed a somewhat melancholy question that prompted dozens of sweet, heartwarming responses: “[What was] something your parents did while [you were] growing up that strengthened your relationship with them?” Get your tissues ready now: you’ll need them.

“I don’t have a lot to look back on and say, ‘I’m so glad my parents did XYZ…I want to do that for my kids,’” u/Mysterypanda449 begins. “Thus, I find myself succumbing to these influencers pushing parenting advice not having gone through the entire experience of parenting yet. So, those with strong relationships with their parents…what did they do?”

We’ll let the stories here speak for themselves, but we found that they largely fell under four main categories...

Frequent & Open Communication

So many Redditors credited their tight relationships with their parents (and children) as stemming from respectful, thoughtful, but still fun conversation. Whether at the dinner table or just going about their day, having parents who were vocal in their affection and who took conversations and discussions with their children seriously forged a solid foundation for a tight bond.

“Eating dinner together at the table and having real conversations — not just ‘How was your day?’ but political, philosophical and theological discussions (dad's a priest),” says u/Othrilis. “Also, they both worked from home most of the time, so they were around a lot. And while they each had an office in the house, the door was never closed unless in a meeting, and they didn't feel like forbidden rooms. Could always go in and ask for a chat, and I knew they would listen.”

“I'm speaking as a parent who has a strong relationship with her kids,” offers u/Creatris. “The one thing, and this is something both of my daughters have told me directly, was the fact that I answered their questions honestly. It sounds silly, but from when they were little, whenever they asked me anything, I gave them the (true) answer. I didn't obscure the facts, didn't tell a half-truth, didn't try to sugar coat, didn't say "I don't know" (unless I really didn't know), just told them like it was. I never said ‘Because I said so’ if there was a reason why we couldn't do something, or buy a thing, or I needed them to do a chore or whatever, they were given the reason and explanation.”

Special Moments

Sometimes it’s the littlest things that make the biggest impression. Whether they’re small moments captured a little bit every day or occasionally taking the time to do something fun and out of the ordinary, these intentional bonding moments clearly achieved their intended effect!

“Every day when I got home from school, my mom and I would sit down and have a cup of tea together,” recalls u/LuckyShenanigans. “Those little chats meant so much to me that I got a teacup tattooed on my arm!”

“Randomly my mom would let me skip school and we would go to Borders (the book store), out for lunch, and then to the mall for Godiva chocolates,” says u/Additional-Regret-26. “Those days were so important for us and I hope to do the same thing for my kiddo.”

“My parents were always split up, I never knew them together,” offers u/Hup110516 . “Every Friday night when Dad would pick me up, he’d take me to the local ice cream shop, we’d each get a scoop and talk about our week. It meant so much to me.”

“Every Friday, my mom, a single mom, would get off of work early and pick me up from the bus stop,” says u/moon_blisser. “We’d go to Blockbuster, pick out some rentals, and get takeout. And once a month we’d have the same routine, but we’d see a movie in the theatre. This was our tradition for many years throughout elementary and junior high school! I have a lifelong love of film and my mom is my best friend.”

More Trust, Less Judgment

Children, as a rule, have terrible judgment. That’s very appropriate, but taking a lighter hand with pointing that out seems to have yielded positive returns for a lot of Redditors.

“My mom always treated me like a person, not a kid,” offers u/Meta_Professor. “She gave me information and advice but always values my thoughts and decisions. She would help me through the bad choices and celebrate with me in the good ones but never try to make them for me. She was a coach, giving advice and support, but I was the star player on ‘Team Me’ and she knew I was the one who needed to be making my own decisions on the proverbial field of life.”

“[My parents] always picked me up from parties without being mad and yelling initially, even if I was grounded,” recalls u/Aware-Mammoth-8835. “I was never scared to call when in trouble, even into my early adulthood years. My dad saved me many times.”

Consistency

Sometimes it’s not even about the things you do, necessarily, but letting them know that you’re there and invested in making sure they know they can depend on them.

“It sounds trite but they showed up,” says u/Sbealed simply. “I am sure they didn't witness every single track meet or engineering event for me and my sister, however I can't think of any major ones they missed. ... and they showed up when I was in the middle of a mental health crisis and wouldn't talk to them. They got me help and I am alive because of it. They got to show up when I graduated with my bachelor's degree at 40 years old.”

“Something my Mom did that my Dad didn't was eating dinner together at the table,” says u/SpicyOrangeK. “My Mom, sister, and I would all eat dinner at the table together while my Dad ate by himself in the living room while watching TV. I definitely felt like my Mom was more of an active parent who actually GAF about me and wanted to know what was going on in my life, whereas my Dad really didn't care.”