Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?!

This Mom Thinks Her Neighborhood’s Halloween Decorations Are Too Scary

“In a neighborhood with children, why decorate your home with such horror?”

by Jamie Kenney
A woman with long, wavy hair appears in three frames, expressing confusion and seeking clarity on a ...
TikTok

Halloween is on its way and with it all the trappings of spooky season. Pumpkins, candy, costumes, and of course decorations! There are lots of great ways to get your house in the Halloween spirit (spirits?): cutesy ghosts, creepy skeletons, tasteful decorative gourds, or even full out scary stuff, like animatronic Jason statues. But for one mom on TikTok, who posts as @lindswitt, some of this decor is getting out of hand...

“I’m going to need someone to explain to me why people why people decorate their homes for Halloween in complete horror, we’re talking scary decorations, when there are neighborhood children, young children, that ride bikes, play outside, drive by these homes, for the entire month of October,” she begins. “We have a home in our neighborhood their entire garage ... is just covered, I’m talking corner to corner, with a picture of the clown from It. ... And that’s only one of the decorations! So I get the joy as a mom of explaining what that picture is and trying to shape it in a way that doesn’t sound terrifying to my young children.”

She goes on to explain that she understands that people have the right to decorate their homes however they want, “But just from a humanity aspect, in a neighborhood with children, why decorate your home with such horror in such a bold, loud, unmissable way? It’s not even October and mommy is already tired of explaining ‘Oh it’s just a friendly clown, that’s just the way he smiles.’”

OK.

So as someone who could bankrupt her family buying life-sized plastic skeletons every year for the front yard if not for her husband serving as the voice of reason, this judgmental “question” wounds me on a fundamental level. Ma’am. No one is asking you to explain the plot of It to your children. Just tell your kids “It’s a spooky clown for Halloween” and move on. They’ll be fine.

Also Pennywise (his name is Pennywise: put some respect on his name) is everywhere regardless of the time of year. T-shirts, posters, I’ve even seen him on the backs of pickup trucks. Is he scary? Sure, a bit. But it’s not like your neighbors are projecting scenes from Terrifier or House of A Thousand Corpses on their garage. It’s a picture of a mildly creepy clown. It’s fine.

But moreover, as a mom, I’m also serving a bit of side-eye. Because you know what scared my kid one time? Christmas lights on a bush in front of our town hall. I’m not kidding. I have a video of my 3-year-old sobbing with horror as she shrieked “It’s a big giant bush!” You know what didn’t scare her? Our neighbors’ display of movie-realistic, gruesome zombies, which she would ask to go visit she she could give them hugs and kisses.

My point is, choosing decor based on what might upset a child is an exercise in futility. Kids are weirdos. They don’t make sense.

Won’t somebody think of the children?! Specifically my one child who finds this harrowing.

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And it would seem that the majority of commenters were similarly not on board with this diatribe against ghoulishness. They were quick to offer explanations to the question just as sarcastic as the question itself.

“As a mom of a two year old... it’s Halloween” replied @postivelypreemie. “Hope this helps.”

“Because it’s their house,” offered @hlouro7.

Some were even snarkier.

“Can someone please make me understand why people use their free will to do the things that they want at their house cuz I just can't get it?!?!” joked @takeme2urcheese. “WHY DON'T THEY THINK OF MY FAMILY FIRST??!?!”

“Her neighbors should take turns constantly knocking on her door to get her kids' approval on everything before they purchase,” @genericsocialmediaalias chimed in. “Gotta make sure these kids learn that the world will cater to them!”

Look, the world can be a scary place all year round and as parents I think we all understand what a task it can be to guide our kids through it. But guide them we must and, to be honest, clown pictures probably shouldn’t even rank on the things to get upset about.