Tween Style Is Changing In The Most Surprisingly Wonderful Way

I love taking my tween shopping. I feel like society has made great strides in giving girls her age a wide range of options. For those who still prefer dressing in graphic tees with their favorite cartoon characters on them, they can (I mean, so can the adults now). For those who want something neutral, there are literally a billion pairs of black pants and brown cardigans. For those who like following the trends, barrel jeans can come in sizes as small as a 2T, and I've seen flares paired with baby bodysuits.

It's just really fun to see this generation grow up wearing whatever they want, but I was incredibly curious to know if there were still styles or trends my tween was aware of. Do kids still comment on each other's clothes? Are there certain things everyone wants, a la Stanley cups or Lululemon bags? Does anyone still use the words "preppy" or "goth" to describe someone's outfit?

I'm pretty sure I knew the word "preppy" from A.C. Slater yelling it across Bayside High to get the attention of hottie Zack Morris. But beyond that, the word just became synonymous with collared shirts, bootcut jeans, and anything with a giant A&F emblazoned on the front. The dictionary defines it as a style that relates to students who go to prep school — which feels more like monogrammed blazers and pleated skirts. Preppy, especially in the '90s and early aughts, simply seemed to mean "popular." It was what everyone called the style of clothes the in-crowd kids were wearing: the graphic tees from American Eagle, the bright Aeropostale collared shirts, the puka shell necklaces.

But when I ask my 10-year-old to describe preppy, she knows exactly what it means. Pastel colors, especially baby blue. Lots of smiley faces. Bucket hats with smiley faces on them. Overalls. Lots of light and dark pink, especially mixed together. Tie-dye.

It fits in with all the popular items I see in the clothing section of Target, and it also describes my 10-year-old's entire closet.

"What do people think of kids who dress 'preppy'?" I ask her. She's confused. What do I mean what do other people think? Like, does anybody ever comment on someone else's clothes in your class?

She is deeply confounded by this. "Like, say they like it? I mean, we say that stuff to each other. We'll say if something looks cute or we like it." She has no concept of telling someone she doesn't like their outfit or judging someone's personality based on what they're wearing. "There's maybe a little judgment," she says when I press her for more information. “But I don't think anybody cares."

I ask her to describe other styles. Does she know any brands? She's never heard of Hollister, but she does know that the Gap isn't considered "cool" anymore. "It's not that it's uncool," she explains. "It's just not, like, the thing everyone's excited to wear." It's not Lululemon.

She tells me that "goth" or "emo" style is just the color black but that it's more about how you feel inside, not what you're wearing. When I ask her if that means some kids may call themselves "emo" even if they're wearing pink and smiley faces, she says yes. Of course. Why wouldn't they be able to?

I know that judgment still exists. I know that some kids are bullied by others for what they're wearing. I know that kids get caught up in the same overconsumption syndrome we all do, of desperately wanting to fit in, of wanting the new and now thing even if it doesn't really serve them well. I know there are clothes labeled for tweens that we'd rather our children not wear (please, even as an adult woman, I want a t-shirt that doesn't make me look like Winnie-the-Pooh) and I know that the tween age is caught in that gray space of "is this too young for her?" and "is this too old for her?"

But this generation of tween girls pulls the punches. They are self-aware in a really beautiful way. They have friends from all circles. They seem to get it already — that nothing matters except being happy, and why would they ever want to begrudge anyone, or themselves, that?

The tween years have been labeled as hell by many. When I tell anyone I have three daughters and my oldest is a tween, their pity is very apparent. "Oh my God, you're in for it," they tell me. "You just wait. The tween years are pure hell."

But right now, right here, with my girl in her bucket hat and her love of pastels and her belief that everyone can just wear what they want and be who they want to, I think these tween years sound pretty heavenly. I could've used a few of these tween years myself.