If You Give My Kids Money for Their Birthdays, I’m Using It for Essentials

By Lauren Davidson

“Mom, how much money do I have?” is a frequently asked question in my house.

My kids know I keep track of how much money is “theirs” in an app: My First Nest Egg. Because most of what they want to buy is digital, I’ve foregone physical piggy banks in favor of an app. So when they’d like to know their balance, they just yell for me, usually when I’m in the middle of an important phone call.

Typically, they each have a few dollars to their name — often slipped to them by their grandpa on our last visit or a reward for a good report card. My oldest, who’s 11, gets $4 a week as an allowance in exchange for setting and clearing the table every day and generally doing any other chore we ask of him without complaint. I like that the app automatically adds $4 to his account each Friday.

Usually what they want to purchase is something in their latest Minecraft world; sometimes they’ll ask if they can upgrade their purchase at the ice cream stand in exchange for a dollar or two.

But while I keep track of what money is “theirs”, if they’re getting more than a few dollars at a time, chances are I’m keeping it.

I’m sorry, but if my 11-year-old ends up with $60 after his birthday, I’m not doling out $5 in Robux 12 times when I could use that money for his school shoes. Or soccer shoes. Or soccer socks. Or soccer registration. And, you know, his food and shelter.

(Have you ever played Roblox? Robux basically just speeds up whatever never-ending coin collecting you’re doing in a particular game. I’m not against spending money on video games every once in a while, but I find spending money on Robux very hard to swallow.)

I have a wonderful aunt who periodically sends me a check with a note: “Buy the kids something fun!” I’d love to. But times are tough. I have kids still in pull-ups at night and preschool tuition is due and any significant gifts we receive are a huge help to the two parents still paying off student loans from two decades ago, not two kids who will spend it on Robux.

Could I spend that money on a trip to the zoo or a trampoline park? Yes. And again, I’d love to. But I have four kids who can eat their way through a box of granola bars or a value pack of Go-Gurts in a single day, and every penny you’re giving me for them is a boon for our grocery bill.

When my second grader had his First Communion ceremony at our church, we invited extended family to the service and out for a meal after. A fancy dinner out was not in our budget, but I knew grandpa would chip in and I wanted it to be a special occasion.

My brother and his fiancée drove in from out of state, my wonderful aunt joined us, and grandma and grandpa were dressed in their Sunday best with beaming smiles for their beloved little boy. Each guest, despite my protests, handed my kid an envelope with a card — and a generous amount of cash — inside.

Suddenly, my 8-year-old was sitting on more than $100.

When we were on our way home, I asked (ok, informed) my kiddo that some of the money he received would be going toward the dinner. Because he's 8 and has no idea how he would spend $100, he acquiesced easily.

I let him keep $25, which honestly is more than I wanted our family to ever spend on Robux, but I do want him to get to choose how he spends the money I deem is “his,” and he’s a kid who likes Roblox.

My mother knew exactly how much he received that day, and she sent me an email asking if I’d be opening a savings account for him.

“One of the best gifts you can give them is money management,” she wrote. “He will thank you someday when he needs to get a cell phone or take his date to a movie.”

I agree with her in theory. And I’m sure it would be wise to start teaching my children good spending and savings habits while they’re young.

But keeping a savings account for each of my four kids when the expenses are piling up here now seems like a pipe dream. It’s just not in the cards for a family of six in 2025 who’s attempting to get out of debt and save for a house. We’re on a very tight budget, and $100 can go a long way.

So yes, if you give my kids money, I’m keeping it. Miss Manners may not approve. But trust me, my spending it on their school supplies is far superior to them buying digital currency.

In an ideal world, my kids will learn how to save, spend and donate their money. I’d like to teach them how to do that someday.

But that day is not today.

Lauren Davidson is a Pittsburgh-based writer and editor focusing on parenting, arts and culture, and weddings. She has worked at newspapers and magazines in New England and western Pennsylvania and is a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh with degrees in English and French. She lives with her editor husband, four energetic kids, and one affectionate cat. Follow her on Twitter @laurenmylo.