Redditor's Wife Wants To Name Their Baby After Any Name From ‘Mambo #5’
“Help, I thought my wife was joking...”
I’m a sucker for a nostalgic baby name. From little old man/lady names (William! Millicent! Oliver!) to names that reference our favorite childhood storybook characters (I can’t tell you the respect I would have for someone who named their kids after the Pevensie siblings in Chronicles of Narnia), there’s just something about a name steeped in tradition and bathed in the hazy golden glow of a bygone, simpler age.
There is, it turns out, a limit. Specifically, when you start wanting to name your baby after the parade of women featured in Lou Bega’s 1999 megahit “Mambo #5.”
Redditor u/newbiesk8r (we’ll call her Newbie from here on out) recently posted her woes on the popular subreddit “Name Nerds” with the ominous headline “Help I Thought My Wife Was Joking.” Newbie is seven months pregnant and she and her wife often joke about giving their child a silly name.
“As soon as we get pregnant, she starts jokingly talking about how she always felt left out as a kid when “Mambo #5” by Lou Bega was on the radio because she didn't have one of the women's names in the song,” she says. “Again, I thought this was a JOKE.”
Two months from her due date, however, it turns out Newbie’s wife was serious. She wants to name their child Angela, Sandra, Pamela, Rita, Monica, Erica, Tina, Mary, or Jessica.
“I've tried to reason with her,” Newbie laments. “Why does she want to name our baby after a song where these women are being like, hit on or sexualized? My other big point — we don't even listen to the radio? And even if we did, what are the chances of that song playing on the radio in 2025? Also, hopefully our baby has enough love in her life that her name not being in a song is like, not something she carries with her forever?!”
I am not convinced this post is real. At least this is what I have to tell myself to be able to get to sleep at night. But if we’re going to be ridiculous, why not go real hard on the nostalgic, Millennial-music inspired baby names?
Delilah
Question: do we think there’s a Delilah born since 2005 who has not had “Hey There Delilah” sung to them multiple times a month? Do they find this annoying? Almost certainly. But it’s still pretty. Put that name on a Plain White T and you’re all set!
Clint Eastwood
It’s the perfect name for when you’re happy (feeling glad). Like you’ve got sunshine in a bag. Of course, with this name, you run the risk of people thinking you’re just a big fan of Westerns, so really make your inspiration extra clear by giving this baby the middle name Gorillaz. Clint Eastwood G. Last-Name. It has a nice ring to it!
Slim Shady
Traditionally a boy’s name, I think this one works well as a gender neutral option. Of course, given the popularity of the song in 2000, it’s reasonable to worry that this one is going to be wildly popular. Your kid might be one of several Slim Shadies in their kindergarten class, and then it’s going to be a whole thing about who’s the real Slim Shady...
Notorious
Yes, your child can go by Notorious with their friends, but I know what you’re thinking: that’s not a proper name. Obviously. It’s Notorious B.I.G. So for boys, it would be Notorious Brian Ian Gregory and for girls Notorious Brenda Ingrid Gertrude. It’s a mouthful, but distinguished.
Jenny
The perfect name for a little girl who, no matter where she goes, she knows where she comes from, irrespective of the rocks that she’s got.
(Mr.) Brightside
Look, we’ll level with you: there’s a very good chance that if you give your baby this name they will be born with panda-esque eyeliner and iron-straightened bangs gelled across their forehead. Frankly, we see this as a plus but if you don’t think you’re equipped to handle raising an emo baby be warned...
M’Humps
You can’t very well name a baby “My Humps” just because you love Fergie (ooh! “Fergie”! Another great option). That would be dumb. But if you get a little kreeaytif with your spelling, you can offer the perfect homage to lovely lady lumps with your baby name.
OK, but seriously, please, Newbie, talk some sense into your wife. Because this is absurd.
