This Mom Doesn’t Pack Snacks On Short Outings — For An Interesting Reason
And if her kids ask her for a snack, she has a response ready.
More than a decade into the parenting game, and I’m still teaching my kids to take responsibility for themselves. I think this is something many parents work on with their children, possibly even into adulthood. Things are going OK. Yes, my tween and teen still need guidance but they’re getting a little more responsible every day.
But I recently saw a tip from mom Chelsea Jo (@sunny_acres_regen_farm) on TikTok and I wish I’d heard it sooner. She admits that, initially, it “might sound a little crazy or a little crude” but the returns have been well worth the unorthodox methods.
“The other day we were driving in the car, and from the back seat [my 3-year-old daughter] calls up and she’s like ‘Mom! I’m hungry!’ ... and so my response to her ... was ‘Oh! Did you bring yourself a snack?’
“So this is my parenting technique,” she continues. “Same thing ‘Mom, I’m really thirsty!’ ‘Hmm! Did you bring your water bottle with you?’ I know, it sounds a little harsh. I promise, I’m not letting my kids go hungry; I’m not letting them go thirsty. They’re very hydrated, well-fed kids, all right? This is used in very specific scenarios.”
For example: Chelsea notes that she will always be the one responsible for making sure her children don’t go hungry or thirsty. But if they’re running a quick errand, while Chelsea will warn her child ahead of time that they might want to bring a snack, she’ll leave it up to her daughter to take that responsibility for herself. If she forgets, there’s a natural consequence, but nothing ever punishing. At best, it’s slightly annoying or inconvenient.
“What this does is it puts a little bit of the responsibility and the ownership on them,” she explains.
She goes on to note that this not only teaches responsibility (and gentle consequence) but it encourages her daughter to think ahead and to be appreciative when Chelsea is the one who packs the snacks/water/entertainment.
“The default is not that I am responsible for every single thing,” she concludes. “Yes, I’m responsible for keeping her healthy and hydrated, but for those extra things, she’s responsible and she knows it.”
Commenters, whether they were parents or not, largely appreciated the advice.
“I’m a teacher and this will help your children so much,” said one. “A lot of kids don’t know how to solve problems or take responsibility.”
“As a teacher, thank you,” says another. “I can tell ... when a child has never been responsible for a single thing in their life. Then they get to kinder and are lost because someone has always done everything for them.”
“My 3 year old packs her book bag whenever we go out,” notes a third. “Without prompting she started packing toys and snacks for my 1 year old.”
But one commenter plans to put this technique to the ultimate test...
“I’m going to try this—with my husband.”
We believe in him! Because whether you’re a 3-year-old child or a man who’s become overly reliant on women in their lives carrying all of the mental load: you can do hard things! And it’s never too early, or too late, to get better at it.
