A Brand New Grandma Offers The Perfect Advice To MILs Everywhere
“Shut your mouth, be supportive, cook the food, do the laundry, love with an open hand.”
The stereotype of the meddling, malicious mother-in-law dates back centuries — arguably to ancient Rome. A mainstay of sitcoms and dramas alike, she is a calculating and/or hysterical figure who not only inserts herself where she doesn’t belong but is convinced that you — her daughter- or son-in-law — is never really good enough for her precious offspring. Sadly, for many wives and husbands, this is not just a caricature but their lived experience. Fortunately, there are mother-in-laws like TikTok user Wendy Gimpel out there beating all the allegations and calling out those who refuse to.
In a recent video posted to her account, Gimpel snuggles her newborn grandbaby while her son and “beautiful daughter-in-law” (a green flag right there, BTW) go on a date. And the moment got her thinking, specifically, it seems, about her algorithm...
“I don’t know how I got on the side of TikTok with all you crazy people that have estrangement issues with your children,” she begins, before continuing. “All I want to say is, our job as grandparents, in my opinion, is to help our kids be the best parents they can be. We already did this. We had our chance. And if we did it right, or at least partially correct, we get to do this!”
She happily gestures toward her grandchild.
“Nobody cares how you did it,” she says, referring to raising children. “His wife gets to do [it] the way she wants to do it. ... I just want to do what you want me to do, and I’m not going to give you unsolicited advice. If you want to ask me something, I’m happy to share how I did it, but because I did it a certain way doesn’t mean you need to do it a certain way.”
She ends with a plea to the other in-laws out there who feel the need to insert themselves where, perhaps, they shouldn’t:
“Shut your mouth, be supportive, cook the food, do the laundry, love with an open hand. Don’t expect anything in return and maybe you’ll have a relationship with your grandkids. That’s the goal, isn’t it? Just to be supportive and helpful and just to be involved, that’s my goal ... They are their own family unit now: they need to do what works for their family.”
Commenters were delighted by this video, which has more than 1.4 million views and nearly 200,000 likes as of press time. (Impressive for an account with just over 10,000 followers!)
“Are you adopting by any chance?” asked one in a sentiment that was repeated over and over.
“If you could offer a workshop, I have a few grandparents to register,” joked another.
Indeed, many more were quick to lament their own mother or mother-in-law circumstances, but not all.
“I was hospitalized when my youngest was 2 months,” shared a third commenter. “I will never forget how my mother-in-law wrote down every preference and routine I had on a sticky note and she had them all over so she wouldn’t forget anything.”
It just goes to show that when you’re a new parent, there’s nothing that hits quite like being seen and feeling heard, respected, and understood.
